110 Funny, Witty, and Random Things to Text Your Friends [2024]

Have you ever found yourself staring at your phone, trying to come up with something funny and random to text your friends? We’ve all been there. Whether you’re looking to brighten someone’s day or just want to inject some humor into your conversations, sending funny and random texts can be a great way to keep the laughter going. In this article, we’ve compiled a list of 110 hilarious and witty things to text your friends. So grab your phone and get ready to make your friends LOL!

Quick Answer

Looking for some funny and random things to text your friends? Here are 110 hilarious and witty ideas to get you started:

  1. “I just saw a squirrel doing karate in my backyard. I think he’s nuts!”
  2. “Do you ever wonder if clouds look down on us and say, ‘That one looks like an idiot’?”
  3. “I just realized that I’ve been pronouncing ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ wrong my whole life. It’s actually ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’!”
  4. “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room together?”
  5. “I just found out that I’m allergic to Mondays. Do you think I can get a doctor’s note for that?”

And the list goes on! Whether you’re looking for silly, weird, thought-provoking, or relatable texts, we’ve got you covered. Keep reading for more funny and random things to text your friends!

Quick Tips and Facts

  • Use emojis to enhance the humor and tone of your texts.
  • Personalize the texts to fit your friend’s interests and sense of humor.
  • Don’t be afraid to be silly and embrace your inner goofball.
  • Timing is everything! Send your texts at the right moment to maximize the laughter.
  • Remember, not everyone may share the same sense of humor, so be mindful of your friend’s preferences.

Background

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Texting has become an integral part of our daily lives, and it’s no surprise that we often turn to it for a quick laugh. Funny and random texts can brighten up even the dullest of days and bring a smile to our faces. Whether you’re looking to share a joke, start a conversation, or simply make someone’s day, sending funny texts is a great way to connect with your friends and show them that you care.

110 Funny, Witty, and Random Things to Text Your Friends

Now, let’s dive into the main event! Here are 110 funny, witty, and random things to text your friends. We’ve categorized them to make it easier for you to find the perfect text for any occasion:

Random Texts

  1. “I just saw a squirrel doing karate in my backyard. I think he’s nuts!”
  2. “Do you ever wonder if clouds look down on us and say, ‘That one looks like an idiot’?”
  3. “I just realized that I’ve been pronouncing ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ wrong my whole life. It’s actually ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’!”
  4. “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room together?”
  5. “I just found out that I’m allergic to Mondays. Do you think I can get a doctor’s note for that?”

Silly Texts

  1. “I just saw a unicorn riding a skateboard. I guess dreams do come true!”
  2. “I accidentally wore two different shoes today. Can we still be friends?”
  3. “I just tried to make a smoothie, but I forgot to put the lid on the blender. Let’s just say my kitchen is now a modern art exhibit.”
  4. “I just discovered that my spirit animal is a potato. It’s versatile and can be mashed, fried, or baked!”
  5. “I just realized that I’ve been wearing my shirt inside out all day. Fashion trendsetter or fashion disaster?”

Weird Texts

  1. “Do you ever wonder if plants get thirsty? Like, do they have tiny water bottles hidden in their leaves?”
  2. “I just saw a pigeon wearing a tiny backpack. I think it’s going back to school!”
  3. “I just found out that the tooth fairy is actually a secret agent collecting DNA samples. Who knew?”
  4. “I just saw a dog driving a car. I guess he finally got his driver’s license!”
  5. “I just discovered that the moon is made of cheese. It’s a Gouda thing!”

Thought-Provoking Texts

  1. “If a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?”
  2. “Do you think aliens have their own version of ‘The Bachelor’ on their planet?”
  3. “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? And more importantly, does it get a round of applause?”
  4. “If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?”
  5. “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But what if life gives you limes? Make margaritas!”

Relatable Texts

  1. “I just realized that my phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships.”
  2. “I just finished a Netflix series in one day. I think I need a life.”
  3. “I just tried to take a cute selfie, but my phone ran out of storage. Story of my life!”
  4. “I just spent an hour looking for my phone, only to realize it was in my hand the whole time. I blame Monday mornings.”
  5. “I just realized that my dog has a better social life than I do. Can I borrow his calendar?”

Witty Texts

  1. “I just found out that I’m 99% coffee and 1% human. I guess that explains my perky personality!”
  2. “I just realized that I’m not a morning person or a night owl. I’m more of a permanently exhausted pigeon.”
  3. “I just discovered that my superpower is procrastination. I can save the world, just not right now.”
  4. “I just found out that I’m allergic to exercise. Every time I start, I break out in sweats!”
  5. “I just realized that I’m not clumsy. I’m just practicing my ninja moves.”

Supportive Texts

  1. “I just wanted to remind you that you’re amazing and capable of anything. Except maybe juggling chainsaws. Let’s leave that to the professionals.”
  2. “I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I’m here for you, even if it’s just to laugh at our own jokes.”
  3. “I just wanted to send you a virtual hug. Consider it delivered!”
  4. “I just wanted to remind you that you’re stronger than you think. You’ve got this!”
  5. “I just wanted to say that I believe in you. You’re capable of great things!”

Fun Facts

  1. “Did you know that the average person spends six months of their lifetime waiting for red lights to turn green? Time well spent, right?”
  2. “Did you know that the world’s oldest known joke is a Sumerian proverb from 1900 BC? It goes, ‘Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.’ Classic humor!”
  3. “Did you know that the fear of long words is called ‘hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia’? Ironic, isn’t it?”
  4. “Did you know that the shortest war in history lasted only 38 to 45 minutes? It was between Britain and Zanzibar in 1896. Talk about efficiency!”
  5. “Did you know that the average person laughs 13 times a day? Let’s aim for at least 14!”

Unpopular Opinions

  1. “Pineapple on pizza is a culinary masterpiece. Fight me.”
  2. “Cats are secretly plotting to take over the world. They’re just waiting for the right moment.”
  3. “Cereal is a perfectly acceptable dinner option. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
  4. “Socks and sandals are the height of fashion. Who needs cold toes?”
  5. “The best part of a movie is the popcorn. The plot is just a bonus.”

Dad Jokes

  1. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!”
  2. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”
  3. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
  4. “Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!”
  5. “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!”

Prank Messages

  1. “I just found out that I’m actually a long-lost royal. Please address me as ‘Your Majesty’ from now on.”
  2. “I just won the lottery! Just kidding, but imagine the party we could throw if I did!”
  3. “I just discovered that I have a secret talent for underwater basket weaving. I’m thinking of starting a career in it.”
  4. “I just joined a band. We’re called ‘The Unicorns’ because we’re rare and magical. Our first hit single is ‘Rainbows and Glitter.'”
  5. “I just found out that I’m actually a superhero. My superpower is eating an entire pizza in one sitting. Impressive, right?”

Weekend Texts

  1. “I just realized that weekends are like superheroes. They swoop in and save us from the clutches of work!”
  2. “I just discovered that weekends are the best time to practice my Olympic-level napping skills.”
  3. “I just found out that weekends are scientifically proven to be 100% more fun than weekdays. It’s a fact!”
  4. “I just realized that weekends are the perfect time to catch up on all the sleep I missed during the week. I’m aiming for a world record!”
  5. “I just discovered that weekends are the perfect excuse to wear pajamas all day. Who needs real clothes?”

School Texts

  1. “I just found out that school is just a long-term social experiment. The real test is surviving the cafeteria food.”
  2. “I just realized that school is like a roller coaster. There are ups, downs, and a lot of screaming.”
  3. “I just discovered that school is the only place where you can hear 30 different conversations about the same homework assignment.”
  4. “I just found out that school is a great place to learn valuable life skills, like how to avoid eye contact with your crush in the hallway.”
  5. “I just realized that school is the only place where ‘I forgot my homework’ is a legitimate excuse.”

FAQ

What are some funny and random things to text people?

If you’re looking for funny and random things to text people, we’ve got you covered! Check out our list of 110 hilarious and witty ideas above. From random observations to silly jokes, there’s something for everyone.

What anonymous message can I send to my friend?

If you want to send an anonymous message to your friend, make sure it’s something lighthearted and fun. Avoid anything that could be misconstrued or hurtful. Here’s an idea: “Someone thinks you’re awesome. And that someone is definitely not me. Definitely not.”

How can I make my texts funnier?

To make your texts funnier, try incorporating humor, wit, and unexpected twists. Use puns, wordplay, and clever observations to keep your friends laughing. Remember, timing is everything, so send your texts at the right moment to maximize the comedic effect.

How do I know if my friend will find my texts funny?

Not everyone shares the same sense of humor, so it’s important to consider your friend’s preferences. If you’re unsure, start with something light and gauge their reaction. If they respond positively, you can continue with similar texts. If not, it’s best to switch gears and find a different approach.

Conclusion

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Sending funny and random texts to your friends is a great way to keep the laughter going and strengthen your bond. Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or want to brighten someone’s day, our list of 110 hilarious and witty things to text your friends has got you covered. From random observations to silly jokes, there’s something for everyone. So grab your phone, pick a text, and get ready to make your friends LOL!

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