Explore Quotes

100 Hilarious Famous Quotes That Will Make You Laugh [2023]

funny famous quotes Funny Quotes

Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further! We've gathered 100 of the funniest famous quotes that are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. Whether you're looking for clever jokes, witty comebacks, or hilarious one-liners, we've got you covered. Get ready to laugh out loud with these side-splitting quotes!

Table of Contents

Your complete guide to funny quotes, clever jokes, and witty comebacks for every occasion

Welcome to our complete guide to funny famous quotes! Whether you're looking for a pick-me-up, need some inspiration, or want to share a laugh with friends, we've got you covered. Our team of quote collectors has scoured the internet and books for the most hilarious and memorable quotes that are sure to brighten your day.

Funny quotes for everybody

funny famous quotes,Funny quotes for everybody Funny Quotes

These funny quotes are perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh. Whether you're a fan of comedy or just need a chuckle, these quotes are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face. Here are some side-splitting quotes that will have you rolling on the floor with laughter:

  1. "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." – Groucho Marx
  2. "You have everything to gain and nothing to lose, except for what you put in." – Bob Hope
  3. "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." – Charles Lamb
  4. "I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home." – W.C. Fields
  5. "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." – Oscar Wilde

Shop Funny Quotes: Amazon

Funny quotes about marriage

Marriage can be a source of endless amusement for many couples. These funny quotes about marriage capture the humor and irony of this sacred institution. Whether you're married or single, these quotes will have you nodding your head and laughing out loud:

  1. "Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops!" – Unknown
  2. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade." – Unknown
  3. "The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open." – Groucho Marx
  4. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." – Rodney Dangerfield
  5. "My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends." – Bob Saget

Shop Funny Marriage Quotes: Amazon

Funny quotes about parenting

Being a parent is a constant source of laughter and joy. These funny quotes about parenting perfectly capture the highs and lows of raising children. Whether you're a new parent or a seasoned pro, you'll relate to these hilarious quotes:

  1. "The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." – Lane Olinghouse
  2. "Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." – Ray Romano
  3. "Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare." – Ed Asner
  4. "Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee." – David Frost
  5. "I love when my kids tell me they're bored. As if the lady standing in front of a full sink of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time." – Unknown

Shop Funny Parenting Quotes: Amazon

Funny quotes about families

Family gatherings can be a hilarious mix of chaos and love. These funny quotes about families capture the unique dynamics and humor that come with having a close-knit clan. Whether you're the black sheep or the favorite child, you'll appreciate these quotes:

  1. "Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts." – Les Dawson
  2. "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. Unless you're an orphan, in which case, you're out of luck." – Unknown
  3. "The best thing about having a sister was that I always had a friend." – Cali Rae Turner
  4. "A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." – Ogden Nash
  5. "I know family can be annoying at times. But remember, they're the only ones who will always be there for you… until they find a better offer." – Unknown

Shop Funny Family Quotes: Amazon

Funny quotes about pets

Pets bring endless joy and laughter into our lives. These funny quotes about pets capture the quirks and antics of our furry friends. Whether you're a dog lover or a cat person, these quotes will have you nodding your head and smiling:

  1. "Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail." – Kinky Friedman
  2. "Cats are connoisseurs of comfort." – James Herriot
  3. "Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them and filling an emptiness we didn't even know we had." – Thom Jones
  4. "The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look on their face whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer." – Paula Poundstone
  5. "The more people I meet the more I like my dog." – Unknown

Shop Funny Pet Quotes: Amazon

Funny quotes about friends and enemies

Friends and enemies play a significant role in our lives. These funny quotes about friends and enemies capture the highs and lows of these unique relationships. Whether you're sharing a laugh with your best friend or need some ammunition for your nemesis, these quotes are perfect:

  1. "Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway." – Greg Tamblyn
  2. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." – Bernard Meltzer
  3. "Keep your friends close and your enemies… well, not neighbors, but like at a reasonable distance." – Unknown
  4. "I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem." – Unknown
  5. "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." – Confucius

Shop Funny Quotes about Friends: Amazon

Shop Funny Quotes about Enemies: Amazon

Funny quotes about money

Money makes the world go round, and it also makes for some hilarious quotes. These funny quotes about money capture the absurdity and contradictions of our obsession with wealth. Whether you're broke or rolling in the dough, you'll appreciate these quotes:

  1. "Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate. And that's pretty much the same thing." – Unknown
  2. "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." – Earl Wilson
  3. "The best way to teach your kids about taxes is to eat 30% of their ice cream." – Bill Murray
  4. "The stock market is filled with people who know the price of everything, but the value of nothing." – Philip Fisher
  5. "Banks have a new scheme for keeping your money. They lend it to you and charge you interest." – Unknown

Shop Funny Quotes about Money: Amazon

Funny quotes about work

Work can be both rewarding and frustrating. These funny quotes about work capture the absurdity and humor of the daily grind. Whether you love your job or can't wait for the weekend, these quotes will brighten your workday:

  1. "The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary." – Vidal Sassoon
  2. "I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours." – Jerome K. Jerome
  3. "A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours are wasted." – Unknown
  4. "Hard work never killed anyone, but why take a chance?" – Charlie McCarthy
  5. "I'd like to live like a poor man – only with a lot of money." – Pablo Picasso

Shop Funny Quotes about Work: Amazon

Funny quotes about education

Education is a serious business, but it can also be a source of laughter. These funny quotes about education capture the irony and hilarity of our experiences in school. Whether you're a student or a teacher, you'll appreciate these quotes:

  1. "The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education." – Albert Einstein
  2. "Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school." – Albert Einstein
  3. "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." – Mark Twain
  4. "The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson." – Tom Bodett
  5. "I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught." – Winston Churchill

Shop Funny Quotes about Education: Amazon

Funny quotes about aging

Aging is a natural process that brings wisdom and laughter. These funny quotes about aging capture the humor and inevitable changes that come with getting older. Whether you're embracing the gray or fighting tooth and nail against Father Time, you'll relate to these quotes:

  1. "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." – Mark Twain
  2. "You know you're getting old when you bend down to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there." – George Burns
  3. "Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are a cheese." – Luis Bunuel
  4. "Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves." – Phyllis Diller
  5. "Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." – Gene Perret

Shop Funny Quotes about Aging: Amazon

Funny quotes about gossip

Gossip is a guilty pleasure for many, and these funny quotes about gossip capture the hilarity and hypocrisy of this indulgence. Whether you're at the watercooler or on the phone with a friend, you'll appreciate these quotes:

  1. "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." – Eleanor Roosevelt
  2. "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes." – Jack Handey
  3. "Gossip is news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress." – Liz Smith
  4. "Always remember, rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots." – Ziad K. Abdelnour
  5. "Gossip is like a virus; it affects the weakest first." – Unknown

Shop Funny Quotes about Gossip: Amazon

Funny quotes about advice and criticism

We all love doling out advice and criticism, but sometimes the joke's on us. These funny quotes about advice and criticism capture the irony and wisdom of our own words. Whether you're in the giving or receiving end, these quotes will make you think twice:

  1. "I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself." – Oscar Wilde
  2. "The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism." – Norman Vincent Peale
  3. "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." – Erica Jong
  4. "Beware of advice – even this." – Carl Sandburg
  5. "Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing." – Aristotle

Shop Funny Quotes about Advice: Amazon

Funny quotes about emotions

Emotions can be both hilarious and baffling. These funny quotes about emotions capture the rollercoaster ride of feelings we experience on a daily basis. Whether you're laughing or crying, you'll relate to these quotes:

  1. "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." – Kurt Vonnegut
  2. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." – Jim Carrey
  3. "I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid, and others I would love to punch in the face." – Unknown
  4. "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye." – Cathy Guisewite
  5. "Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive anyway." – Unknown

Shop Funny Quotes about Emotions: Amazon

Funny quotes about food and drink

Food and drink are not only necessary for survival but also a source of endless joy and laughter. These funny quotes about food and drink capture the delicious humor and absurdity of our daily diets. Whether you're a foodie or just love to eat, you'll appreciate these quotes:

  1. "The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating." – John Walters
  2. "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it." – Unknown
  3. "Coffee: because adulting is hard." – Unknown
  4. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already." – Tommy Cooper
  5. "Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie." – Jim Davis

Shop Funny Quotes about Food: Amazon

Shop Funny Quotes about Drink: Amazon

Funny quotes about health

Colorful medication

Health is an important aspect of our lives, but sometimes we can't help but laugh at our own experiences. These funny quotes about health capture the irony and humor of staying fit and well. Whether you're a fitness enthusiast or just trying to survive flu season, you'll appreciate these quotes:

  1. "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." – Mark Twain
  2. "The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." – Gilbert K. Chesterton
  3. "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." – Frank Zappa
  4. "The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook." – Julia Child
  5. "I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets." – Dolly Parton

Shop Funny Quotes about Health: Amazon

Funny quotes about politics

Politics can be a serious and divisive topic, but it's also a never-ending source of jokes and laughter. These funny quotes about politics capture the absurdity and humor of the political landscape. Whether you're a political junkie or just love a good punchline, you'll enjoy these quotes:

  1. "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." – Groucho Marx
  2. "Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel." – John Quinton
  3. "I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians." – Charles de Gaulle
  4. "In politics, stupidity is not a handicap." – Napoleon Bonaparte
  5. "Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other." – Oscar Ameringer

Shop Funny Quotes about Politics: Amazon

Funny quotes about success and happiness

Achieving success and finding happiness are universal goals. These funny quotes about success and happiness capture the humor and irony of our pursuit of these elusive ideals. Whether you're striving for greatness or simply trying to find your bliss, these quotes will give you a good chuckle:

  1. "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." – Albert Schweitzer
  2. "I find the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have." – Thomas Jefferson
  3. "The best way to predict the future is to create it." – Peter Drucker
  4. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." – George Burns
  5. "The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does." – James M. Barrie

Shop Funny Quotes about Success: Amazon

Shop Funny Quotes about Happiness: Amazon

Funny quotes about bores, egotists, and more

Interacting with different personalities is what makes life interesting and, at times, quite comical. These funny quotes about bores, egotists, and more capture the absurdity and hilarity of human behavior. Whether you're dealing with a know-it-all or just need a good laugh, these quotes will entertain you:

  1. "It takes a lot of money to make a person look cheap." – Dolly Parton
  2. "I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep, they will have someone to talk to." – Rodney Dangerfield
  3. "Some people just have a way with words, and other people… not have way." – Steve Martin
  4. "The best cure for a bad day is a good laugh from a friend." – Jane Austen
  5. "I can resist everything except temptation." – Oscar Wilde

Shop Funny Quotes about Bores: Amazon

Shop Funny Quotes about Egotists: Amazon

Funny quotes about intelligence and stupidity

Intelligence and stupidity often go hand in hand, and these funny quotes capture the humor and irony of our own brainpower. Whether you consider yourself a genius or enjoy a good laugh at your own expense, these quotes are for you:

  1. "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." – Albert Einstein
  2. "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." – Bertrand Russell
  3. "A great intellect is no guarantee against being an idiot." – George Bernard Shaw
  4. "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." – Abraham Lincoln
  5. "I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it." – Edith Sitwell

Shop Funny Quotes about Intelligence: Amazon

Shop Funny Quotes about Stupidity: Amazon

Funny quotes about death

Even death can be a source of humor and laughter. These funny quotes about death capture the absurdity and inevitable end that awaits us all. Whether you're fascinated by mortality or just need a dark chuckle, these quotes will give you food for thought:

  1. "I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." – Woody Allen
  2. "The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." – Will Rogers
  3. "I intend to live forever. So far, so good." – Steven Wright
  4. "Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down." – Terry Pratchett
  5. "Death is a once in a lifetime experience. You can't rehearse for it." – George Carlin

Shop Funny Quotes about Death: Amazon

FAQ

What are 5 famous quotes?

  1. "I have a dream." – Martin Luther King Jr.
  2. "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." – Oscar Wilde
  3. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do." – Steve Jobs
  4. "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." – Robert Frost
  5. "To be or not to be, that is the question." – William Shakespeare

What are some cool short quotes?

  1. "Life is short, make it sweet."
  2. "Live your dreams."
  3. "Don't dream your life, live your dream."
  4. "Creativity takes courage." – Henri Matisse
  5. "Do what you love, love what you do."

What's the quote of the day?

"The only way to do great work is to love what you do." – Steve Jobs

References

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *